Fyodor Dostoevsky says in his book The Brothers Karamazov that God created man to be free, when all he really wants is to be happy. The other day I sat down and asked myself some hard questions about living in Empire. The first being, is Darth Vader really that great of a leader? Or, is he respected from a purely aesthetic level due to his whole dark, “my voice sounds like a machine and you can’t see my eyes,” façade? And, also can the Death Star really do all that we think it can? Seriously, think about it.
Really I think it comes down to this question: “Do I really want to follow Jesus? Or do I want to kind of follow Jesus and kind of live in the empire?” Sort of like a half in-half out scenario where I hover between these two different worlds, like a Now, there are many ways in which I believe in a Consumer King, that is, a God who will give me what I want, when I want it, American style. I want a god who promises me certain things such as fame, success, and happiness, who will be my tiny little genie, granting me my every wish. I decompose into the mode of the this, then statements. I say God if you don’t do this, then… then I’m not going to do this. God if you don’t make me happy or take away my whatever, or give me blank, then I’m leaving.
What is the this? What are the things in the empire that I think if I just had this…then. Then I would be happy. Then I would have no more problems. Then I would follow you. If everything just made sense. If you were just more like this sort of god. If you would just give me security. Peace. If you would just give me these answers. If you would only stop me from sinning. If you would only take this brown thorn out my pale skin.
Then there are still the things I lust for in the Empire. The areas of life I seek abundance through. A lust to be noticed, to be known. To buy this or that, to make myself feel better. To search for recognition. Identity. A sensual greed—to feel good, to feel happy, to feel intimacy, to feel all right. There is this Faustian desire for knowledge within me leading to a gospel based on rationality, science and the so called wisdom of the world. My failure to really believe that God is the abundance. Trading a gospel of self-sacrifice for feel good spirituality. My failure to abide in that which is the very being of the cosmos, and trusting in the trinkets of the empire.
1 comment:
Two things, honest questions:
"Sort of like a half in-half out scenario where I hover between these two different worlds..."
Is it really possible to live half-way? Sure you can say you believe in Christ, but if you do not live a life in complete submission and self-denial for Christ alone then are you living half-way or are you just living according to yourself?
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14
"A sensual greed—to feel good, to feel happy, to feel intimacy, to feel all right...Trading a gospel of self-sacrifice for feel good spirituality. My failure to abide in that which is the very being of the cosmos, and trusting in the trinkets of the empire."
This sounds exactly like what I am hearing from a lot of "Christians" and sadly church leaders as well. But while I searched for the origins of this movement that fits the gospel to their desires, something incredibly interesting was pointed out to me. Questions are being asked. "Is that really what the Bible says? Can we trust that to be the truth?" If we flip to Genesis 3 it says this:
"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?
The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "
"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves."
The serpent asked the same question we ask now. "Did God really say that?" We see something that is "good" and we do not deny ourselves the ephemeral pleasures it offers. So are we fighting against the Empire? Or are we fighting against an age-old enemy?
Just a couple of long, drawn out, overstated questions...
P.S. Those things you lust for? Punch them in the face. Christ is better than they will ever be. =D
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